hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
