ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
