who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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