somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
