I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
