remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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