3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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