I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
