Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
