fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
