Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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