I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i drank out of a bidet.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
