You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
