hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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