so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
