So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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