Can i not drive my cunt home
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
