They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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