ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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