New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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