I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
