this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
