Christians are straight up FREAKS
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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