Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
