Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
