drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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