Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
