he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize