I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize