Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
