I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
