remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
