Girls should come with a carfax report
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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