can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
