Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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