If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
