my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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