You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
