Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
