WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
