What a fucking waste of an outfit
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
