I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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