perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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