I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
