he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
