I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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