What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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