My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
