He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
