We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
