Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
