I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
