thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
