Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
