You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
