we're blogging at a bar
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
