I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize