I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
