Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
